8 ways to be nicer

Kindness is one of the most powerful forces known to man. You can accomplish anything, and you need others to help with everything. So you'll have to learn to communicate, respect others, and get along.

Here's 8 ways to help you be nicer (and happier)

Give An Unexpected Gift - It's hard to overestimate the power of an unexpected gift. It can mend relationships, bring people closer, and make you both happier. It doesn't have to be huge, and the effects are immediate and apparent.

Smile - A sincere smile creates an instant bond, even between strangers. It's like instant acceptance, almost as if to say "I don't know you but I like you" (without being creepy) Try it.

Pay Someone A Compliment - Compliments are wonderful. Just make sure it's sincere.  "But what if I don't like anything that person does? How am I supposed to compliment them sincerely?" You ask. If I look hard enough, I can find something I like in everyone. Just be willing to find it.

Ask Something Unexpected - Rather then asking "How are you?" because that elicits a fake and preloaded response, ask something like "How's your day going?". It works wonders to get people to make a genuine connection.


Remember Names - This is one of the most overlooked (but important) things ever. If people aren't important enough for you to remember their names, you're (almost) better off ignoring them in the first place. Rhyme it with something, keep a notebook to write it down, or put it in your phone as fast as you can. Just remember it. They do notice when you forget their names and it's the worst for both of you. Also if you do forget and don't want to make it awkward by asking their name, try this trick. Ask how to spell their name. It's very effective.


Help Someone In Need - See that guy working who's not quite getting that box into that truck? Help him. It might make a world of difference in that instant (or day) that he really needed. Just remember when you were in a situation like that and a stranger came out of nowhere to help you. Be that stranger.


Be Honest - 100% honesty isn't common. It never was. Neither was 75%. 50% was for a time, but no longer. Strangers lie on average 3 times within meeting each other. Average married couples lie in 1 out of every 10 interactions. Just be honest. It might hurt now, but you will be better for it later. (Also people remember when you told the truth in that tough situation.)


Forgive Instantly - Not in a week. Not in 24 hours. Now. Remember when you screwed up and were forgiven. There's absolutely no use in holding a grudge. All you do is hurt yourself. So let it go, smile and move on. Try not to even remember it.


Get your sister something for no other reason than she wants it. Smile at a stranger, and tell them how much you like their shoes. Ask that clerk how her day's going, and remember her name for next time. Help that child get the door open. When your boss asks you if it was you that accidentally threw away his TPS report, tell the truth. Get out there, live, and forgive.

Testing. one, two, three

Always remember to experiment. 

The smallest blog posts are sometimes the most influential.

Sometimes you need to focus on one area, such as different fonts.

Just note the times when you're in your element, and replicate that.

This is too hard...

"It's too hard to write something epic everyday. I'm taking today off." Is it really? Or are you afraid or too tired or too lazy? Why don't you start something to where you are responsible to put something thought provoking out everyday?

That's why I started this blog. I was reading Seth's Blog about a month ago, when he said that no one gets talker's block. Why? Because they do it everyday. They ship. Therefore, I decided to ship everyday with this blog. Does it take time? Yes. Is it annoying some days? Yes. That's precisely why I do it. Because if it were easy absolutely everyone would do it.

Send me the URL of the blog or essay or response this caused, if any. I would love to see it.

Stay Startup

Older companies (tend to) become slow, not able to pivot easily. Somewhere along the line, they lose that magical element of startups. They refuse to do new things, refuse to try and fail, or refuse to move operations. It's understandable. They're trying to continue doing what worked in the past, thinking things are still the same. Except the world changes, and they can't keep up.

This creates a wonderful opportunity for entrepreneurs, in businesses both big and small. As long as they are more plugged in to what people want, they will succeed. They utilize disruptive technology to go forth and destroy the traditional market that the larger company is (currently) serving. In the large business, they have to realize that they will not be serving this exact market in 20 years. Things move too quickly now. You have to stay startup. Always be ready to pivot, changing a new market that is taking over your market. No, I'll take that a step further. You should be the one to take over your own market. 

Be Brilliant

Curiosity, the capacity to learn, and acting upon what you know are the most powerful tools known to man. If you aren't using them, you will be (and are currently) falling behind. Why not be so awesomely, spectacularly original, so amazingly epicly brilliant that people write about you? Or try to meet you. Or ask for your autograph. Be someone like that.

If you aren't remarkable, become remarkable. That's all I can say. It can (and will) be done this year by people who are younger than you and not as smart as you. There are millions of ways to do it. All you have to do is apply yourself to doing it. Move, live, fight, change, read, sing, create, love, write, sculpt, imagine. Just do it, because the world needs you. Not someone else, you. Only you can make your unique contribution and insight. 

                                              Be Brilliant. 

Inspiration Expiration

Inspiration expires fast. It's here one day, while you're ready to take on the world and found some multi billion dollar company, when the next day all you want is sleep. Why? Because you're human. If we could all always do our best work, our best work would just be today's work. It might not even be that good, since someone else's best work is simply likely to be better than yours.

Just know that this won't last forever so you'd better move on it now. All we ever have is now, and today is tomorrow's old news.

Genius is found in simplicity

Simple is always better, more effective, and downright prettier than complex. When you make something simple and effective, it's amazing what you can create. Take nature for example. It's at the peak of simplicity, not needing any more or less for what it does. Every blade of grass, every tree, every wolf, all just live without clutter. It's perfect. 

So next time you design a product, remember nature. Remember that it shouldn't be complex. Recall how streams roll downhill with no power, that flowers rely on the things around them to survive, and how it feels to be in the center of it all. Emulate that in your product.

Feedback vs Discouragement

You should always give feedback, but never give discouragement. Feedback is truly helpful, only trying to help the recipient. Discouragement is never helpful, to either the giver or recipient. The difference? 

Intent.

If I tell you what you're working on sucks, that's discouragement. If I tell you what you're working on sucks but could be much better if you'd change this, that's feedback. Discouragement is final, feedback is always trying to get better. When I give you feedback, I'm on you're side, and I want you to get better. When I give you discouragement, I'm not on you're side, and I want you to stop creating. 

Success Equation

Action + Focus + Perseverance = Success

Action because if you don't do anything you'll be in the same place you are now 40 years from now. 

Focus because if you're thinking about everything and working on everything you get nothing done.

Perseverance because you will fail. It's how you deal with failure that separates you for success. 

(See "Failure" Oct. 14th)

Know the other side

After an argument, silence may mean acceptance or the continuation of resistance by other means. -Mason Cooley 

When you're in an argument, do you just say whatever you can to "win" or are you genuinely trying to get to the truth? Big difference between the two. The first one no one wins and the second everyone wins. If you're trying to win, why? You only win when you both got to the truth, no matter who was right. They are as stubborn and set in their ways as you are, so it doesn't matter if you're right if you can't look at things objectively. Respect the other person's point of view. They might be right.

Here's the test to see if you are right and looking at it objectively. Do you know the other person's side? Can I ask you what they think and have you say it correctly & completely? So when you ask the person who thinks what you just said, all they say is yes? If you can do that, and then prove why that's a wrong point of view, you both just won. But respect is always the key. If you did all of that but belittled them in the process, you both lost. Nothing was accomplished. Especially if you got mad. If you got mad when you were arguing with someone, end the conversation and come back two hours later after you've calmed down. If you can't do that it's your problem, not theirs.

Take an objective look at the situation next time. You don't have everything right; no one does. Take that into consideration next time you're in an argument.

Abortion (Steve Jobs)

(You might not like this post. That's fine with me. I also don't write on super touchy issues often, but this came to my mind last night and I thought it was interesting.)

What would the world be like if Steve Jobs never lived? What if he wasn't there to make that once-written  off  tech company into the juggernaut it is today? A lot worse, in my opinion. So, on to the controversial part.

Steve Jobs was adopted. His parents were in graduate school when they had him. What if they decided they didn't want a child at such an early age? What if they had decided to (illegally since it was 1955) abort him? The entire world would be at a loss. We wouldn't have apple, iPods, iPads, or Macintosh computers. I might not be writing this blog because it's on a Mac.

How many Steve Jobs do we abort everyday, every week, or every year? A child is a piece of infinite possibility and potential. What would the world be like if they were here? How much better could life be?

Scared

What are you afraid of? Some of the most damaging fear isn't physical. It's mental. You had that great idea and didn't do anything with it, then six months later you see what you thought of on the internet. You get the worst sinking feeling, and wonder how well the guy who did it is doing.

It wasn't always like this, though. There used to be things that were very smart to be afraid of, as that gigantopithecus in the dark inside that cave would probably rip you to pieces. So, fear was a valuable survival tool back then. Not anymore.

Open your mind

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow- witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.” ― Leo Tolstoy

There is nothing more powerful than an open mind. You can learn, accomplish, and adapt to anything when you utilize what God gave you when you were born. Don't close your mind to new things just because they're different or make you uncomfortable. If you're not busy learning you're busy dying.

Go do something new, learn something, meet someone you would never talk to otherwise. We're all people and we all come from basically the same level. What I mean by this is that people are basically good. If you come from a level where you believe everyone (or even some people) wake up every morning just looking to hurt others, you yourself become cold and paranoid. So give others the benefit of the doubt, and move on when you (rarely) get burned.

Now that doesn't mean you can judge others based upon your perceptions of them or your experiences, because you can't. You don't really know anyone. You weren't there when their dog died, or when they got in that car accident.

So just remember that keeping an open mind is very important. It's often the beginners that come up with the most innovative (and successful) solutions. Knowledge can end up binding you, unless you tame it. Meaning nothing is 100% absolute. If you believe all (or even most) things are absolute, when they change you will be trampled. So live, adapt, change, and grow if you wish to be successful. If not, just do the same thing you did yesterday, everyday for the rest of your life.

The power of exclusion

When you look at the cover of a book and you see "Best Seller!" it instantly gives it a bit more credibility. "Maybe this author knows what he's talking about if all these other people bought this. I'll give it a shot." you say, as you click checkout on Amazon. This is the psychology of the mass. This is why you never see "This book didn't really sell that well..." on the cover. If you know other people didn't do something, you're in turn less likely to do it.

Unless...

Unless you don't consider yourself part of everybody, of "the mass tribe" as Seth Godin puts it. I know people who don't like certain things or brands or whatever just because a lot of other people like them. It's for a sense of individuality that they do this. But what happens when you put all the people who shun well known (but perfectly fine) brands in favor of the smaller, less known alternative that caters to them? What if you market to only these people instead of those in the middle with a house and 2.3 kids? You create zealots. You move people from mere customers to revolutionaries for your company's cause. That's what Apple originally did, and I still feel like I'm fighting the power by typing this blog on an iBook G4.

Seth Godin is full of wonderful insights, and his new book, We Are All Weird, is no different. He writes that rather than trying to be everything to everyone, shun those you don't want. This will polarize the people you do want to your product.

Take Dr. Pepper TEN, for example. I don't usually drink Dr. Pepper, or any pop for that matter, but this is just too appealing. Dr. Pepper did market research that said that men don't drink many "diet" drinks because they don't feel manly drinking them. So, rather than doing what everyone else was doing and marketing to overweight women, they took a new path. They completely excluded women. They state that it has "Ten rugged, manly calories." and the ads make it clear it's not for females. That's 50% of the market that they just shunned. But they polarized the other half. I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper TEN right now because I feel included (and manly) for doing so.


Think of this next time you're marketing a product. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Take notes on this...

It sounds old school and played out, but you really should take notes on every book you read or insight you have ----- whether or not there's a test at the end of the week. You'll forget everything you just read, or you might remember a single major point if you're lucky.

It's time consuming and not very much fun but it'll end up paying dividends in the long run.

Nothing To Lose

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." -Steve Jobs 

You will get old. There is no youth potion or scientific breakthrough to stop this. You will die. The world won't end for you, and people may cry when it happens. You might die today. Sorry to be so blunt but it's quite true. Stop acting like you have something to lose. You don't.

Live your life. Do what you love and let no one stop you. Travel. The only thing that's stopping you is yourself and some sick sense of duty or that you're doing the right thing by not doing what you love. "But, I can't do that" you say. "My parents/boyfriend/coworkers would look at me funny!" Name what it is you're afraid of and get over it. 

There is something very freeing about doing something for the mere fact that you want to do it. There isn't much time left. If you don't start living today, when will you?

I've Got A Secret....

  So, I love coffee. Not a healthy love, mind you. One of those It-ruins-my-day-if-I'm-out-of-coffee addictions. I always hated that word, addiction, because it makes it sound like a problem. So I coined a new phrase. I'm favorably enslaved by coffee. Much better, right? Anyway, this brings me to my point. I've decided to show the world (or at least those in my home) this love of coffee. But how? It would be difficult (and time consuming) to make a man sized statue of a coffee bean in my living room, not to mention all the cost of materials and (probably) hiring a professional when I screw it up. Well, there is a solution.

My brother recently started a business that sells the most epic vinyls. Why would I want vinyls? You ask in your head, politely writing this post off as one of those crazy marketing posts that have nothing to back them up. Well, hold on a minute and we'll get to that. These vinyls can be put on walls (hence the name), glass, laptops, metal, cars, and too many other surfaces to (politely) name here. Oh, he can also make (almost) whatever you want. Just email him here.

I saw this and thought, "My peril has come to an end!" And it did. I bought a vinyl from WisdomOnTheWall.com and all was well. It shipped within 3 days and was here and ready for its close up in no time. This is the actual picture, and I am stoked to have everyone (in my home) know about my love of coffee.

Do you have a favorable enslavement with no way to show everyone who walks through your door? Well, the future is here, and it's on WisdomOnTheWall.com. Enjoy and tell no one. (or everyone)

Failure

Failure is the greatest invention of success. It separates the quitters from the winners, sharpens the resolve of the determined, and teaches you to learn.

I would venture to say (with research backing me up) that if you aren't failing something's wrong. When you fail, it means not only did you do something, but you pushed passed your limits. If you continually push passed your limits, they cease to be your limits and things get easier for the next big challenge that awaits. Nothing is final.

 In Bounce by Matthew Syed he speaks about how world class performers continually fail to meet their (current) goal with a clear view of how to get there. As long as they fail, they get better. Now, consider the ice skater that never tries any new jumps. They continue to do the single easiest jump in ice skating (the bunny hop) and never try anything new. Are they becoming better ice skaters as a result of never failing to do the bunny hop? No. Only the ice skater that is continually trying new things, falling down, getting back up, while trying (and probably failing) again will become world class. So embrace failure for what it is, get back up, and try a triple axel.

Happiness

Where does happiness come from? Does it come from someone else, a certain turn of events, or having everyone recognize you? It might come from these things, temporarily at least. But there's something missing.

Any true, lasting happiness comes from within. Nothing external has the same effect. Meaning you have to make a conscious decision for it and act upon that decision. If I'm not happy, I either change something or just start smiling. It sounds dumb, but honestly acting happy is half the battle. Think positively, realize when you're upset, and trust your gut. Things (and you) will be fine 99% of the time you believe there is a catastrophic disaster.

(Caveat: If you are in a bad situation, you can still be happy. It's just harder. Although, never stay in a bad situation. But that's a different day's post)

How are you?

I hear (and say) this question about 15 times a day. All people say when you ask is some stock answer, like I'm some machine that doesn't care how their day's been, or I said it as just something to say.

What?

Be genuine for one day. I'm not asking a week, month, or the rest of your life. Just one day be genuine and see the results you get. Be remarkable and open and honest for one 24 hour period and watch how differently people react to you.

Hack Success

Do whatever you love, and do it well.

Push through (or reevaluate) any failure you might face and you will eventually succeed.
If you're not busy learning, you're busy dying.
Don't follow anyone else's definition of success; find your own & live it.

Oh, and always remember you have nothing to lose. Nothing. So get out there and live your dreams.

Win Dropbox Free (Forever)

You've heard of Dropbox, right? That crazy file sharing website where you take any files you want, everywhere? Well their doing a promotion right now where you can win Dropbox Pro free forever. Like, the rest of your life. Or the world ends. Whichever comes first.

That's military grade AES 256, SSL, and 50GB storage forever. All you type in is your email. Go get it.

Free Dropbox FOREVER here

Steve

Today, the world lost a visionary, revolutionary, and friend. He always put a premium on simplicity, so I'll make this brief.

Steve Jobs was (brilliantly) larger than life, and will be sorely missed by people he never knew (and somehow worse by those who knew him)

Steve, you put a ding in the universe & taught us all what it means to love.

Rest easy, you deserve it.

Welcome to the future

It's 2011, you can post a timeline of your entire life on Facebook, get unlimited music with Spotify, and create a blog in the same day, all for free. We are all creators now, producers of ourselves and our own art. It wasn't always like this. Things that used to matter, now don't.

Take location, for example. It's not an issue anymore. I don't have to move to Silicon Valley for my tech startup to be known or invested in. I don't need to travel for days, or even hours to speak with someone face to face. I just get on Skype, and problem solved.

My point is this. We don't need more technology for the everyman to become someone important.

We just need the initiative.

Harvard doesn't accept losers

Mark Zuckerberg went to Harvard, then dropped out to make 18 Billion Dollars.

That's at the heart of it all. When you look past people's credentials, you find something quite interesting that generally goes unnoticed in our culture. Individual success comes down to the individual. Harvard doesn't create successful people, it merely accepts them.

So what's stopping you? Just because some big prestigious organization didn't accept you, does that mean you're defeated? The only thing that can help you, hurt you, lift you up, or bring you down is you. Waiting time is over. Time to go do something great.

Why not?

Why are you where you are? Why not do something great? Why not live your dream?

If you don't have a dream, or some grand vision for your life, that's all right. Most don't.

But if you don't know where you want to go, you won't know how to get there.